L a s t S u m m e r;

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Loving a Loser

Ok, so , I'm bored.
So I'm typing up my poetry.

You see, I know, I know, how it hurts to be who you are,
The cuts, the bruises, the pain, oh I can see all your scars,
I loved, I love, I will love you, no matter how far away,
You seem to be,
Cuz you see, I know, I know, that without you,
There is no me.

And the snow is falling swiftly,
Things are crashing round me
I'm breaking up inside,
The rain is cutting through me,
Must be going crazy,
To lose you,
I must be out of my mind.

Because this is so wrong, this love , is too much.
It has been too long, I'm falling out of touch,
I cannot go down this road you've paved,
Because my heart, it has caved,
And now I want to let you go,
Because I love you no more.

I see, you know, I'm not holding onto you.
There was a time, I couldn't live without you,
Somehow, somehow, I couldn't take, the fact that you got me,
Scared me away, just because you knew me.

My hands are hurting, baby,
The bricks are slowly crumbling,
I cannot see my way out of this hellhole,
You always wanted to love me,
But now I see clearly,
I am not doing what I was told.

Because this is so wrong,
This love is too much,
It has been too long,
I'm falling out of touch,
I cannot go down this road,
You've paved.
Because my heart,
It has caved,
And now I want to let you go,
Becuz I can love you no more.

Oh it hurts, it hurts to love you,
I'm scared, I'm scared,
Of being with you,
Too much, too much, is in my,
Hands, yeah baby,
I don't, I don't , I can't stand,
To be with you,
Anymore.

Because this is so wrong,
Loving you,
Hurting me,
This is too long,
The pain of the truth,
Breaking free

Because this is so wrong,
This love is too much,
Can't go on much longer,
I'm falling out of touch,
I need to know, know,
How do you love me so,
Why can't I let you go,

How was I supposed to know,
That I'm not all I show,
Where does it all end,
I don't want to be friends,
I want to hold your hands,
Why can't they understand,
Why can't they understand,
Why can't they understand.

Done!

xx signed off at 2:49 PM

Monday, May 21, 2007

I solemnly swear I am Up to No Good

Ha,
Well, another week is gone. God, that was fast. All that stress over in a day.
Had two tests today. Monday. I hate mondays. How Garfield of me ^_^
Erm. Physics was err.... and Human Bio was errr..... Help, let the lecturers love me or something.
Anywho, promised to put up pictures of dogs I saw at the Million paws walk, which btw, WAS AWESOME!!!! Got to pet like a million dogs, oh, and I totally took tons of pictures of all the cutie pies
Oh, and Josh tried to pash me....
Moving ON!
The white dogs that are really puffy are Samoys or something. AWESOME!

We got to see a whole lot of bichon frises and golden retrievers, and the one looking up at the cam is totally in love with me^_^ and there was this hyper english sheepdog! It was awesome...HUGGIES!

See yaz,

Net

Labels: Happy Times

xx signed off at 7:30 PM

Friday, May 18, 2007

How to Save a Life

Ok, so, here I am again, Ms. Finally Consistent Blogger.
Well, this week has been hectic, like every other week *rolls her eyes* Erm... i've never been more stressed than now, I think. And what with my late-night exercises, i wake up with my body all sore and crap and so, it's adding to the whole, OMG I'm GONNA DIE because of College ranting.
Erm, so, what's made it stressful?
Well, a) People keep msn-ing me while I'm doing my studies.
b) My mom is barring me from downloading.
c) I had to give Theresa ISO my IELTS cert and stuff, and i kept forgetting.
d) The scholarship ceremony is coming up
e) I wanna buy contacts but don't know what to buy
f) I had an ELACS presentation on the BALI BOMBINGS 2002, so... Err... That went crap. I didn't study for it, i just walked in and looked at my slides and made shit up.
g) I've got a major physics and human bio test coming up GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH and i'm totally lost in physics. I can't figure out anything. I'm just stumped all the time. And human bio portions are evil.
h) I had a major chem exam on monday. It was errr ish.
i) I've got Marcus perpetually bitching about how he doesn't like me with other guys *eye roll*
I'm gonna paste a song here by Good charlotte ( who , btw, I love atm) that totally reflects what Marcus is going through. He took me for granted, and when i finally decided i'd had enough and broke up with him, he's spazzing when he sees me with other guys. GAAAH

Good Charlotte Dance Floor Anthem Lyrics
She’s going out to forget they were together
All that time he was taking her for granted
She wants to see if there’s more than he gave she’s looking for
He calls her up
He’s trippin on the phone now
He doesn’t want her out there
And alone now
He knows she’s movin it
Knows she’s using it
Now he’s losing it
She don’t care
Everybody put up your hands
Say I don’t wanna be in loveI don’t wanna be in love
to the beat now
If you’ve got nothing left
Say I don’t wanna be in loveI don’t wanna be in love
Back it up now
You’ve got a reason to live
Say I don’t wanna be in loveI don’t wanna be in love
Feelin' good now
Don’t be afraid to get down
Say I don’t wanna be in love I don’t wanna be in love

There......... Marcus, READ IT AND WEEP! Move on, because I have. I can go out with whoever i want, you have no control over it.

On a better note, I'm totally hyper these days because I love Good Charlotte's new album. It's nice, it's funky, and I LOVE IT! ^_^ Two thumbs up.
Erm... this sunday we're going for the million paws walk, so i'll take loads of piccies and upload. I love doggies!!!
If you wanna come along, come over to Sir James Mitchell Park or check online and check if your suburb has a meeting place for the dogs, every suburb does. It's not a scene to be missed!

Erm.. what else?
Yeah, that's about it. I'm a big meanie. Someone asked me to help set them up ( adding their name to the TBSU list - To Be Set Up) , but I totally can't help them , because they're kinda hopeless, and i kinda told them that, and that's so bitchy of me.
Anyways....
GTG!
Love me, hate me, but you still wanna date me?
Net.

xx signed off at 8:12 AM

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Lalalalala

Love is just a lie! ^_^ Go ashton!

I am so gonna buy a bichon frise. I love them. They're so adorable!

Yes, I won another award ^_^ Ronnie Rocks!

Ok, so, I totally feel a lot better after the whole Ben post. Now, I am having the busiest weekend of my life. There's just so much to do and so little time. I have a Chem test on Monday, a Bio test on thursday, I have a physics test coming up, GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Anywho, erm,

What's happening this weekend :

Loads of parties, loads of trips down to the beach, and loads of studies!

I decided, I should put pictures up of SOMETHING.

So, here, piccies of me and my sis at King's Park.

I'm totally chucking my glasses someday.

Oh, and I've been losing weight. Gotten a whole lot fairer. Improved since that pic a whole lot.

And I've downloaded so much awesome music. And I've got Linkin Park's new album, Minutes to Midnight.

Love Snow Patrol.

Trying to get motorola phone tools off of someone.

End of transmission. Gonna go finish my ELACS presentation and then head to bed. It's like 1.20 a.m. here.

Byez

Labels: Rantification and Randomity

xx signed off at 12:10 AM

Friday, May 11, 2007

Sometimes the Hardest Thing and the Right Thing are the Same

Well, today's Friday.
Yeah, ok, so I'm the queen of obvious, sue me ^_^. Erm.. well, it's been an interesting week. There've been fights and tests, and homework and housework, and fights, and issues, and emoness, and memories, and nostalgia, and generally tons of drama.
And that's why I'm here now to talk about the drama.
I was listening to You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol and I realized something. I let Ben go because I thought he'd be happier without me, and that I was stopping him from being who he could be, because he was too busy loving me.
I thought I'd type out how Ben and I met and how we spent those 3 months together and how it ended, and how we went on, and then how we ended and now, where we are, and how far we've come. Why? Because it helps. It helps to sort out the clutter in my head. And it might help you to see the mistakes I've made and not to make them yourself.

Wow.... I sound so totally serious. Ok, let it be known that I'm listening to majorly hyper pop music while i'm writing this, and I'm just so hyper and happy and bubbly right now talking to all my friends that there's no emoness behind this. I'm just typing random thoughts in my head that I'd like to get out to clear up " memory space" for new thoughts.

Here goes:

How I met my first boyfriend Ben -->
I had gone to you-know-where for holidays after the exams, and I had gone to one of my cousin's friend's party and was hanging out with her people, when there was this guy in the room who was totally surrounded by these high school cheerleader types, and at first I totally paid no attention to him, because I was like, whatever ,Jock, blah blah. Plus, I had Zach by my side totally driving me bonkers but totally driving me crazy happy too.
And I was talking to this whole group of people who were totally interested in finding about where I come from and what school was like back home and how awesome stuff is , etc.
And then, this guy, tall, with amazingly green eyes, like, intense green eyes, and hazel hair, and he's really got a nice body, and this gorgeous smile, comes up from behind me and goes, " Oh, you're _____ 's Cousin? ( I'm leaving out her name cuz i respect HER privacy)" and I'm like, " Yup." and there's this dead silence as I turn around to answer him and we both kinda get stopped in our tracks. And there's like this 5 minute pause between the two of us, and we're just staring at each other and not saying anything, and like, I blink, and I'm like, ok, this is dumb, this isn't what you do in a major party when you see a guy, he's going to totally think you're weird and make fun of you and your cousin's going to get a bad rep as a result.
So I just smiled and answered and turned back to Zach and think it's over with. Then, later on, i'm just standing across the room in this corner just watching everyone having fun and he comes up next to me and is like, hey, I'm Ben and I'm like, hey, I'm Nethra, and he's like, I think it's awesome, India. It's so exotic. I've always wanted to go there. Do you go there real often? and stuff like that. And we get to talking, and he's not as big a jock as i think. He's actually really smart and he's really funny and witty, and he's got my attention till it's like late and my cousin says we have to go, so he's like, K, see ya around.
Then, we meet again at the mall off Harton's and he says hi to me, and i wave back and he comes to me and asks me out really straight and upfront in front of my aunt *cringes* and I say, err.. and then tell him the answer through my expression. And so we get to know each other, and we keep going out, hanging out, taking pictures together, we went to pike place market together, went all around seattle, he even offered to take me to see the boeing hangar, but nuh-uh, ain't got a thing for airplanes, Bennie.
And then, I have my first kiss. And we're just sorta standing there, and I'm smiling and he's like, you look really cute when you smile, and he kisses me when i'm smiling. And it shocks me for a moment, then i get used to it, like i was inbuilt with a kissing mechanism. And then it starts.
Like, the funny fuzzy feelings, like we're totally supposed to be together, and hormones and stuff are acting up, and i know love is just hormones, but god, it's so complex.
Then I'm leaving, and he gives me that necklace, and I realise we both felt so strongly about each other and never told each other.
And then I leave, and i lose touch with him, and he says he still cares for me, and i say i don't feel anything anymore.
I don't.
I feel... like, I can't feel for him again. Like, I can't be with him without living painful memories.
So, here, this is my resolution.
This is the last I shall speak of Ben and I.
There is no Ben and me.
It was just....i don't know, a summer fling, between two teenagers who didn't know any better.
I hope Ben moves on soon, and gets an awesome girlfriend and has an amazing life and gets married and has a gagillion kids and a white picket fence, and an amazing career.

Good luck, Ben.
This is my final goodbye.
Net.

Labels: Nostalgia

xx signed off at 11:38 PM

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Feeling Weird

So,
Erm. Going through a phase at the moment.
I almost fell off the bus.
I had a relatively good day, but I'm tired. Very very tired. Like my body is shutting down. Everything's paining all over. TGIF tomorrow ^_^
Hmm.
I feel like picking up the phone and calling Damien and asking him how he is. Because he called me during the day and said he wanted me to call him back but i totally blew him off because i'm way too busy, but now that everything's settling down, I'm ok with talking to him. He's fun, Damien....he's like this calming feeling that washes over when you realise that it's all going to be OK when he's around. Everyone's felt it around him. I think it's his voice, it's always smooth and soft and sedated, like he's in control of everything. It's amazing.
Today, I had a weird day. Erm, Ben called me today. While I was at the bus stop waiting to go home. Like it was fate. That I blogged about him just yesterday. And the bus came half an hour late. Like God was giving me time to talk to him. It was odd.
I don't know what I said to him, but it feels like I should have said more, or said something else, said, I don't know, I miss you? But the thing is... I don't think I do. Not really. I just WANT to miss him. I want the drama. But, when he said, on the other end, I miss you, I immediately thought, Oh, but I'm so happy without him.
Is that just me, or am I becoming cold?
I'm sure he loveS me.
Now.
And pretty sure, forever.
And I broke his heart. And I didn't mean to. It was just...we were too far away and too different to be together. I was never going to see him again, not unless he hopped on a plane just to spend the holidays with me, and he WAnTED to. So many times. But I just kept saying No. Don't. It isn't right.
Now,... I'm scared that he really will. He told me today, he's scared to tell me he loves me. He's scared I'm going to do what I always do when he does, that i'm going to just say, yeah, well, you need to move on , and then close the phone.
And he's right, I do that everytime. I'm heartless.
And cold. And cruel.
And I'm turning into something I'm not meant to be.
I'm not this person , this emotionally disturbed human being who hurts people.
I can't be this person. I don't want to hurt people. I hate seeing people being sad.
It's wrong. And I don't like wrong.

I know. I'm ranting. I'm having a moment. sigh... I'm just planning to cuddle up in bed today and think, and maybe cry a bit, and maybe just let loose for a bit. Be a bit dumb. Be a bit hurt. Be a bit sad. Be a bit different from the smiley person i usually am.
I don't know if it's the hormones talking, or the fatigue talking, but I know I'm not really feeling THAT bad.
I think I'm just tired.
Someone.... hug me.
I need a hug.
Just to rest in someone's arms.
It figures that I've pushed everyone away and built up walls to such an extent that I'll never have someone to hold me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Ben.
I miss you.
I mean it this time.
But I don't love you.
Net.

Labels: Having A Moment

xx signed off at 8:20 PM

Poetry Time

Why Do You Love Me? - Me

Everything I want you to be,
I've left inside this note for you to see,
Everytime I look at you,
I feel like I've lost the truth.

And the stone is shattering,
The cold is numbing,
I'm falling through the cracks.
My heart is wondering,
I am shuddering,
Who am I?

Why does it have to hurt to,
Why does it have to hurt you,
Nothing you say can make me,
Love you the way you love me.

Take your hands off me,
I'm not your property,
I don't need to say sorry,
You should be apologising to me.
Every word that I say,
You take away,
Make me wish that I was blind.
Every word that you don't mean,
I feel unclean,
How do you live inside?

No one loves a loser, so you lose me,
No one want to hurt this badly,
You could never own me, my heart beats differently,
Now you only own my shell, go to hell.

Love is just hormones in us,
Everything is just a fuss,
It's nothing really worth this pain,
So why am I crying again?

Don't you understand,
I cannot cry anymore,
Don't you hold my hand,
I don't want to see you, go home

Nothing is okay,
Nothing is the same,
You think you can slap me,
Well, if it makes you happy.

Why do you want me?
What makes you want me?
Did you do this to taunt me?
Is this why you haunt me?

Does hurting me hurt you?
Does it leave you lying confused?
You're reaching out for me,
You're not what you used to be.

You leave me out here,
Watching me disappear,
I'm standing here, knowing,
That your grief is growing,
Why don't you leave me,
Why don't you let me be,
Maybe you counted me out,
Of your famous little scheme,
Maybe you know what this is about,
Go hide behind your dream.

I think I thought I knew you,
But now I know the truth,
You're not all you made yourself out to be,
You're always there, just not with me.
_____-------------------________________----------------------

L.O.V.E - Me

I'm sitting here in the dark,
Watching all the lights switch off,
No one understands the truth,
That I was really in love with you.
No one picked up your phone today.
No one looked for you to say,
I'm not happy without you,
I'm not living without you.

All the windows are closing,
The blinds are pulling in,
No one knows I'm standing,
Waiting for you to come home

What happened when I,
Close my eyes,
Trie to picture you standing there.
I want to hold you,
But I can't feel you,
Because I don't think I can or that you care.

No one knows this,
But I'm in love with you,
No one knows this,
And I don't know what to do.

Somehow, you knew I would make a fool of myself,
Somehow, did you know I was loving you and no one else,
When do, I get up and tell you I'm hurting,
When do, I say, " I can't live alone again."

So, I'm ranting and rambling,
Tossing and turning,
Can't see myself rhyming,
Because I'm totally confused,
With you

My friends tell me,
I'm a little bit crazy,
I like the guy who's totally geeky,
This coming from the girl who likes cheeky,

Like a forbidden fruit I'm not supposed to eat,
Like a ten dollar I picked up,
That I'm not supposed to keep.

You're that strange, strange person,
That I'm not supposed to see,
You're everything I know,
You're my one and only L. O. V. E.

---------0000000000000000000000000-----------------------0000000000000000000

Haha. Don't worry. Nothing inspired me to write these totally emo poems. I was just being random and drawing from all the movies i've seen.
I've never been in love.
^_^ Don't really care. I'm happy at this point, being boyfriend-less.
Cheers,
Net.

Labels: Poetifulness

xx signed off at 7:52 PM

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

What I Want From Him

Ok, so, someone said we should all put up a post about what we want in a guy and then compile, so here's mine :
1. Funny . And I don't want a guy who cracks jokes and expects that to count. I want someone who's sarcastic but not put-down-esque. Someone who's witty, there!
2. Intelligent ( obviously. I don't want to date a do-do. I've dated dodos. They're dodos. No further comment. *hugs Marcus* Kidding! *hugs Shawn* I haven't heard from you in ages, but you were the smartest smarty-pants bf ever!)
3. Caring ( I like a guy who thinks about me occasionally while he's taking a break from thinking about sex. Oh, wait, such a guy does not exist)
4. Cute ( Or goodlooking. Or hot. Whichever. Someone who I can flaunt in front of my friends. Lmao. J/k. Hot people i've dated : Marcus, Peter, Josh, Shawn, Steven, Geoff, Damien, Herbie, Lollipop dude, Brendan ( sorry, late mention !) and erm, Neil. Oh, and Chris. And Eric. And Brad. And Zach ( HOTTTEIIIEEEEIEIEIIEIEIEIE) And of course, last and best, Ben. *sighs* I miss Ben. I wish I hadn't broken up with him. I feel kinda stupid for having totally axed him like that. And he still writes to me, and he still cares about me. Hmm... *thinks* YOO HOO! BEN! Lol. Green eyes, hazel hair, tall, dark, goodlooking, yum. J/k.)
5. Tall ( I know, when you're my height, everyone's tall, go figure. I want someone tall. Tall kids?)
6. Romantic ( I don't mean all Oh, let me buy you this, let's do that, that's a bit obsessive, and frankly, ben was like that. he was all over me, and i don't want that. at the same time, i don't want what Steven and I had where I was too busy to be with him and him too busy to be with me. Like, there was this i love you, but I can't be with you , NOT BECAUSE OF PARENTS (though kinda, yeah) but because, you and I were too popular. I want someone in the middle. Josh is someone in the middle. He gives me my space and I give him his. And we meet halfway. He gets me things and he helps me and stuff. V nice)
7. Helpful ( I mean, pick me up from school. Help with my homework. Oh, wait, I'm smarter than most people ,so, Err...)
8. Nutty about music ( You have to listen to the same music as me or else we'd totally lack conversation topics unless you're that entertaining. )
9. A cuddler ( I like hugging people, I like holding hands, I like being around someone, a cuddler, someone who'll randomly walk up to me and give me a hug)
10. Someone who asks me how are you doing?. Just once. Just ask me if i'm ok. It means a lot to me that you wanna know how I'm going.
11. A listener. I want someone like this blog, who i can let all my feelings out to without fearing that he's going to go, whoa, this girl is psycho.
12. I want a non-psycho person.
13. He should be nutty, like me.
14. Borderline random.
15. Someone i can talk to. I like talking, if you haven't noticed. But... haha, how much can you talk before people decide to chop your head off.
16. Someone who appreciates that I am me. And I don't want to change me. I'm happy being me. I'm hyper and I never shut up and I love music and I don't like losing and I love studies, and I always want to be the best, and I'm stubborn. Deal with it.
17. Someone to protect me. I mean, someone to fight back when someone picks on me. Someone to say, hey, don't do that, that's pissing her off. Someone who cares if i get hurt and wants to make it right again.
18. Someone I can be all of the above for as well. I believe in give and take.

I don't plan to be the girlfriend who wants everything and gives nothing. If you love me, I'll love you back, I'll love you amazingly. But, I've always been a crappy girlfriend because I'm scared if i show that i care about him, i'll scare him away. That might be why i break up with my boyfriends just when we're getting serious.
Dear dear.
Someone tell me it's ok to love someone. ^_^

Ooh...This blog is too serious.

^_^ Something lighthearted, pweaassseee!!!!
Nutty Net.

Labels: Going Gaga over Guys

xx signed off at 12:15 PM

Every cloud has a silver lining

OK, so of recent, my posts have been next to crap so i decided that maybe I should start writing properly again. So here goes.
Erm, firstly:
What I Did this Weekend
---> On Friday, I was supposed to go for Spiderman 3 ( which is reputedly awesomeness in itself) with a bunch of my friends from Canning ( Adam, Tim (the gay couple, Lmao, j/k ^_^), Greg, Casey, etc.) but I couldn't, because...
Well, most of you know why, but for those of you in the dark, here's why:
I went for a date with the guy on my bus who looks a lot like Brendan who looks a lot like Hayden Christensen. His name is Jamie. He's irish. He's tall. He's whatever.
I thought his geekiness was cute, and that he was all innocent, but i was wrong, and it serves me right for trusting people i haven't met before. Anyways, we went to Hungry Jack's ( I know, how absolutely unromantic) and we went up to the counter to order food and he started getting mad at the dude at the counter because it was taking a while to get the order ready, but the place was so BUSY! What did Jamie expect? Anywho, i thought, ok, maybe he's tired and stressed, so he's venting on the poor counter guy. Strike one.
Strike two, we sit down and get to talking and i think, ok, so this guy's not bad, and I love Hungry Jack's flame grilled chicken burger, so maybe this isn't so bad after all. WRONG! 20 minutes into this really nice conversation, he makes this remark like, " I like your skirt" and I'm like, Err..thanks. and then he's like, you've got to forgive me but i'm imagining you with it off and I was like, " Ew. Perv" and he was like, " I bet you'd look awesome without clothes on." and I was like, " Yeah, sorry, I have to go, PERVERT!" and I like got up and went out of hungry's before he could even reply, and like it was a sign from God,the bus arrived at the bus stop exactly when i got there! HAHAHAHAHHAHA YES! I was so totally happy that he didn't come following me. I think he was too shocked to actually be able to do anything.
So anyways, that was FRIDAY!
----> Saturday , I went with a couple of my mates down to the beach, hung out, then got back and tried to cram for App Maths ( which btw, is uncrammable for, the EPW i mean. Just go with the flow) and then I'm sitting at home, and I find this site where you can download all this music online and I download all the top hits and stuff, and while i'm doing that, I get this pm from a guy who i knew from this forum, Amaranthia, which is a gaming forum ( Awesome forum when i was there 2 years ago. still in touch with loads of people from there) and i'd never spoken to him at all until like 3 days ago, and that was just like, " Hi, are you erm, Zeus" and he's like, " Yeah. Pookie right? " and I'm like yeah, and we just started talking, but because his timing's all whoa, we didn't talk much. So i was like whatever, i've got loads of friends who don't have time to talk to me and me to talk to them, so... nyeh, i didn't care much about this dude. Just some random person i said hi to right?
Wrong. So, I'm sitting at my comp on Sat, and he pm's me, and we have this really sorta sarcastic way of talking to each other which is fun and cool and random all at the same time, and we talk from like, 11 in the morning till about 10 in the night ( I KNOW!) and at around 9, we start having this really intimate sorta convo, and then, i realise, hey, maybe he likes me just a bit? At this point, I don't really care.
If he likes me, then whatever.
And if he doesn't, then...whatever ^_^
He's like, from America and he's a marine, fyi. I know... A MARINE! Scary. Reminds me of Steven, who btw, is gonna sign up for the RAAF. I KNOW I KNOW STEVEN?!?!
---> Sunday
Sorta the same as Saturday, only slower. Mom's getting mad that i download so much music. Right. Went for a party in the night. With an App Maths EPW the next day. I'm so gonna get into trouble *smirks*
----> Monday
Had the App Maths EPW
Jamie was on my bus again and he was gonna sit next to me but i gave him such a look that he totally went and sat on the other side of the bus, but still really close to me. And I usually sit on the bus and just stare out into oblivion with my iPod blaring thinking about things, and this guy starts poking me with the world's longest ruler! Weirdo. I looked at him and went, WHAT?!? I totally snapped at him. I was pissed. Like majorly pissed. The perv totally predates then want's his prey to say yo? F Off.
Talked to this guy from America again and he's all, hmm. Kinda scares me that I talk to people I don't really know.
----> Tuesday
Well, yesterday was tuesday.
I've added Tim to my msn and Frankie ( Hon'ble mentions) so hehe. Lots of people are asking for my msn lately. Weird.
Erm, saw 50 to 1 Greatest One Liners.
hilarious.
Show me the money! You can't Handle the Truth! Frankly, my dear, I don't Give a Damn. Greed, for lack of a better word,is good. Greed is right. What we have here is a failure to communicate. Go ahead, make my day. Do I think I'm lucky? Well, do ya, punk? Smokin'! etc, etc. Haha, total memory breakdown for 5 minutes just there ^_^
----> Wednesday, which is today.
Planning to go for Spidey 3. I know, always planning , never doing. Can't help it! Marcus is just so .... tunnel-vision-ed. He called me up before school and went, movie not today, tomorrow. So i was like, yeah. K. Then josh called me up movie today, not tomorrow. and i'm like, yeah, K. and then Peter and jordan and lisa and ally and mr. mormon call me up and it keeps switiching and finally i'm like, PEOPLE! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have too many friends, lmao.
My friends think i have too many guy friends.
My guy friends think I get too much stuff from my other guy friends.
Totally sorted out the necklace thing with Marcus, btw. He's been going through this OMG MY EX GIRLFRIEND IS DATING OTHER PEOPLE phase, but he's learning to handle it. I tell him, I'll always have a special place for him in my heart ( yeah right ) and he's like, Ok. I'll try.
He still loves me apparently.
Why is it so easy for a guy to say the words I Love You. Is it like, I like Chicken? I mean, ...ok, this is what i'd like everyone to read, these lyrics, it's Dean Geyer's If You Don't Mean It. It's totally what I feel. If you don't love me, don't say you do. you might THINK you do, but you don't. It's just hormones. If you kiss me, doesn't mean I've kissed you. If you hug me, doesn't mean I've hugged you.

Dean Geyer - If You Don't Mean It
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know
How to feel
Let the words
Come easily to me
You seem lost
In your thoughts
And I find it hard to breathe
Why won't you tell me what it is?
It's driving me crazy trying to second guess you

Don't say you love me,
I don't believe it!
Don't say the words,
If you don't mean it.
Don't want to hear it
Out in the open
Keep it inside
If you don't mean it

Don't even want to talk about it
I know that I can live without it

If it's right
If it's wrong
Would someone let me know?
It's the game
I can't play
Do I just let you go?
Maybe it's just the way it is
I get the feeling that you know it's over

Don't say you love me,
I don't believe it!
Don't say the words,
If you don't mean it.
Don't want to hear it
Out in the open
Keep it inside
If you don't mean it

Don't even want to talk about it
I just don't want to talk about it
I just don't want to talk about it
God knows I could live without it

Don't say you love me,
I don't believe it!
Don't say the words,
If you don't mean it.
Don't want to hear it
Out in the open
Keep it inside
If you don't mean it
.....................................................................
Awesome song, you should hear it. It's beautiful. I'm totally loopy over it.
The guy's the third runner up to Aussie Idol 6 btw.

Erm.
Someone asked me what I want in a guy. So i'll put that up as my next post.

Here's another song that is totally resonating through me and driving me nuts:

Artist: The Fray
Album: How To Save A Life
Year: 2005
Title: All At Once

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another
----------------------------------------------------------------

There, done.
Byez!
*mwahz* Net

Labels: Rantification and Randomity

xx signed off at 11:16 AM

Friday, May 4, 2007

Aha- Fooled Ya!

Just when you thought i'd been all blogged out. Ok. well, guess what?
I'm in the mood for wasting the next 15 minutes blogging. So I am going to.
Well, as you can tell, Marcus is getting more and more and more and more and more jealous of the guys i hang out with ( I can't wait till he finds out about this guy from my bus *eye roll*) He'll totally flip. He always does. I think he's going through PMS or something. Necklaces, proms, etc. I think he's still got something for me but he's just not getting it, I have nothing for him, and I mean nothing. I like him as a friend, he's almost like my best friends, and best friends should want what's best for their friends. NOT FOR THEM! Sigh, it's totally spazzing.
About this guy i met on the bus now:
He's tall, about 5'11. He's got orange hair.
I know.
Orange hair.
How irish.
Anyways, he's got this drooly drooly wooooly voice, it's so thick and deep. And his accent is so awesomely cool.
I totally make fun of his irishness and he doesn't mind so eh.
Let's see how it goes?
About Josh :
Well, Josh is upset with Marcus for getting upset with me ( Whoa, is this possible? Josh is acting like Marcus and MArcus is acting like Josh?). No news from Peter. He's been swamped with school, so, no biggie. I'll see him on Sunday and catch up then
Our new Acer computer's totally crashing , like, every five minutes. So pissed.
Got dial up for the moment. My broadband'll come in soon and then it's HALLELUJAH!
So.
Yes.
Randomness.
Haha.
Laterz,
Net.

Labels: Intuition is driving me insane

xx signed off at 2:45 PM

Well

Well, well, well . That's what Tarzan said when he saw 3 wells.
Haha, I know, lame joke.
Anyways, what's up everyone? How's it going?
Erm, some guy who always sits next to me on the bus asked me to go for a burger at Hungry's tonight, so i'm going, bye. LMAO
Erm, was supposed to go see Spiderman 3 today with a bunch of my friends, but I totally am not allowed out late so GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Hope they don't have fun? Lmao.j/k <3 all.

Weekend's starting again. I hope it's a good one.
Right now, I'm in class doing the most boring thing ever...... ELACS! It's some random project about some random thing. So. eh.
What else is news? this guy who asked me out is full-blood irish, has got a gorgeous accent, and is v.v. cute in a geeky way ( specs and all. no acne though ^_^)
SO. Excited.
Yes.
V. v. excited.
Erm. Meg's friends are coming over today. Hope the food my mom makes turns out fab.
Been on msn a lot more these days. Drop me a line.
Totally bored shitlesss.
Love.
Me.

Whoever reads this blog, buy me a tim tam pack and i will love you forever
Best book ever : The World's Very Best Emails
Will type up some jokes.
C Yaz.
<3

xx signed off at 2:36 PM