Dum Dee Dum... I'm Nutty Net and I often go nuts :P I have way more fun than the average human should, and I'm blessed with a beautiful family and so many lovely opportunities :) And this is where I come to settle all those crazy floating thought butterflies in my head :)
He comes to her, he holds her,
He kisses her, but she turns her face,
He asks her what's wrong, aren't you my lover,
Or has someone else taken my place.
She laughs, softly, a low chuckle that gets lost in the breeze,
She looks at him with the tears that he hates to see,
And she says,
The man I thought I loved,
The man I once knew,
He has long since gone.
Yes, someone has taken his place.
Someone who knows not the difference between the truth and a lie.
Who worships deceit more than the benefit of his soul
Who looks upon me , with those lying eyes
Deceiving me into believing that he was reformed.
You used to be my shoulder to cry on,
Now someone else's shoulder I will seek,
No longer will I touch your hand,
For your hand is cold.
She stood there, staring at the screen, her heart both pounding incessantly, yet, so slowly , she could swear time was stopping. The empty sickening pit that was forming in her stomach made her feel like gagging, the tears that slowly gathered in the crook of her eye, so dangerously close to spilling. The raw anger and the brutal hurt welled up inside her, the sheer animal need to see him hurt, the way she had been. Yet, the still burning love for him.
She closed the computer.
She closed her eyes.
She wished for one moment that he never existed.
She wished for one moment that their paths had never crossed.
She wished that she had never said hello to him in class.
She wished that she had never touched him.
She wished he had never asked her out.
She wished he had never said I love you.
She wished for one moment that he had meant it.
She clenched her fists tightly, and tried not to cry.
The desperate tears drowning her, the violence of the heartache she felt, swelling through her fingers, the blood rushing through her, soaring, incredible, the highest high due to the lowest low. Her lips quivered, trying to keep back the strangled sob of hate. The insanity of the million emotions flooding through her. So much anger, anger she had never felt before. She tried to breathe, but she was so scared she'd just scream. She felt her body shake, the rancid smell of weakness flooding her brain, the vehemence towards which she did not regard his state, so much as her state of being. The disappointment that she had let him in. That she had believed. That she had trusted. Every lie, every truth, the difference so subtle, she could barely tell.
The words began to swim as the brine of emotion in her eyes continued to gather. There, in that moment, she died.