Ah,

Yes.....

Yes, it's true.

I'm BACK BABEH! Driven by a random need to distract myself from my studies ( which isn't altogether that impossible) I decided, ah, what the hell, might as well indulge in something that is as far away from engineering as possible. Blooogggggginnnnnnnngggggggg. It makes me feel like I'm doing a service to the community by having a piece of cyber-real-estate and actually making albeitly feeble ) attempt at trying to improve the property value.

And now, for something completely different.

Hello all, how's it doing, as my classmate Brendon says. I find that statement somewhat repulsive. How's it doing? I'm not an it. Nor is anyone I know an it.

Unless you count that spineless turd , the guy who screamed at me for about half an hour at work about how some random ran over his phone and he didn't have insurance but it was magically all my fault, simply because I was the sales representative.

Ah, the stories I could tell.

Lets see, first, what has happened to me since my last blog post. I do not know, because I haven't yet checked to see when my last post was. Ten bucks its some unfinished rant. * ctrl t's a new tab on the window and brings up random colours on screen with little scrawl going across*

Ah, right, the chrissie wish list.

Omg, it has been a while.

It will please you to know i got nothing that i wanted on my christmas list, but instead got things i liked that i happened to lack the imagination to include.

most presents were provided by Sir Hargreaves, the ever-present source of compassion, caring, and soul, not to mention absolute idiocy and cuteness all wrapped up in one random grass-munching puffball = My Boyfriend Timothy.

Now, let's see. What has happeneed since then?

Well, for one thing, I got a job.

Yes, I

Got

A

Job.

Don't act too bloody shocked that someone would want to hire me, you piece of monkey poo! ( note : all those who aren't shocked and are happy for me , disregard the monkey poo bit. think more...piece of pie? NICE PIE. Not dodgy australian pie. Note to self : have rant about aussie pie further in blog ) I got a job in a phone chain store thingy called Living Digital. Some of you may have phones from there, considering that 80% of the international student population inevitably ends up getting drawn in by the insanity of getting 150 bucks worth of credit for just 30 bucks ( btw, before you come to me asking why it's just 120, RTFM. )

So, where was I? Ah, yes, ( thank god for blogger's scroll up and down feature, otherwise I'd probably be discussing space monkeys or some crap like that by now, and here's the amazing thing, it's only the 5th paragraph. WOO HOO AREN'T WE EXCITED TO KNOW I WRITE NOVELS?) . So, anyways, I work in Living Digital, we sell phones, etc. It's not too bad. I'm not that fabolous a salesperson, and yet I seem to do pretty well. I think it's because people are scared of me ? I am very loud, overbearing sort of person, ya know. Agreements, I hear.

Well, anyhow, i made a fair packet from that job, which is going to tide me well over this year, hopefully. It's going to be a pain doing tax returns hahaha.

Gosh, some of the people you meet at this job.

There's this one guy who comes into the Victoria Park store that I used to work in , and he either comes in shirtless with just shorts, and he's all sweaty and stinky and hairy and just a REALLY MASSIVE TUMOUR FOR THE SORE EYES, or he comes in with this cowboy hat and his motorola phone ( the 10th he's bought because he thought ( in his own words ) " it's a f*ing piece of f***. I'm being f*ed over by f*ing Optus who are f*ing f*ers. ). So yes, man who comes in. He's majorly aggressive, absolute bastard on two feet, starts ranting randomly about any shit.

Also, did I mention he has about 1000 $ of Porn on his phone.

And he'll come in store and discuss it.

WTH

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW GEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ

But yes, that's just one of the many colourful characters I've had the opportunity to come across with.

The usual clientele isn't too shabby. A bit of a talk this way and that, and they buy something on contract, though the outrights are the satisfying sells. And then you get the ABSOLUTE DICKHEADS 5 minutes before you're closing or 30 minutes before you're due to open, and they come in, kick up a fuss, and leave you in such a horrible mood for the rest of the day, that it doesn't matter if you sold a million phones per millisecond, you'd still feel like you did jack.

( Tim, I do not know a jack. I have not , as a result, done him )

Ah, well, que sera sera. Or something like that.

So anywho.

What has happened to me uni wise ? Well, I got a TER of 99.8 which is one of the highest TERs in Western Australia, so pretty stoked about that.

However, the funniest thing. I didn't receive any first round offers AT ALL. Like NO UNI WANTED ME . Wanna know why?

BECAUSE MY SURNAME IS A FULLSTOP. So this whole entire bunch of computers thinks, oh, wait, fullstops for surnames? That must be a fake name. NEXT.

So, get this, the deans of all the unis realise how badly they've screwed me over, and I get calls from them apologising profusely, and finally I get a full scholarship into Chemical Engineering ( double degree with Extractive Metallurgy) at Curtin Uni.

OH HOLY COW. I am in deep water here.

A person who has done bio all her life, and written ten page english essays suddenly has to figure out Thevenin's Equivalent. Google it, it's a piece of shit.

So, yes.

I am so out of my league, it's scary. And I need to maintain an 80% average to keep my scholarship . GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I swear, I will eventually cave and swim in an ocean of craziness.

What else has happened? Erm... let's see

Oh, yes, my parents finally found out about Tim. How you ask?

Good story this one. Widen thine eyes and open thine ears at appropriate moments. Cry, sob, sniffle, or just chortle.

It all starts with me, getting ready for training for my work at 6 a.m. I usually turn off my phone so that if and when my mum turns it on, she can't access the phone because of the sim password i put on it ( *nudge nudge wink wink *). However, on this particular occasion, I leave my phone on the dressing table, in plain sight, on. With about 53 saved messages from my bf in the inbox and it's all of him saying how much he misses me and loves me and the usual romantic stuff . I was saving all these ( because I usually delete them in the event of my phone getting into nosy hands ( A HAND WITH A NOSE ) ) because my bf was in Queensland for about 2 months and I missed him a tad, and so had these to remind me of his everlasting lunacy for me.

I come out of shower.

Mum sitting at dining table.

Mum staring at me as I drink tea in front of heater.

Mum : Net, what are those messages from Tim?

Net : What? EH?

Mum : Are you in love with him?

Net : Errrrrrrrrr No..............*shifty eyes* of course not!

Mum : Break up with him now.

Net : Gaaah, I need to go for work, I'll come back and talk.

My dad is sitting at the couch with this really pissed off disappointed look on his face as i walk out.

Uh Oh.

So, I go for work, and drop the news to Tim. Who's like. Shit.

And then I get back. BIG FAMILY MEETING. Mum and dad totally go off at me for doing this and saying how I've changed and become a girl with no morals and now I can't date till I get out of uni, and how is this going to make my sister look, if her younger sister is a little slut ( yes, slut ).

I started crying and I seriously thought that Tim and I were to be broken up.

However, Tim and I , it will pleease you to know, are now continuing an espionage relationship, under closed covers. It is sad, but true. :S

Hmm, so yes, that happened.

Also, I discovered that Marcus and Brendan had a bet going on who would swipe my virginity first. HAHAA GAYs didn't get the chance. Bunch of dweebs. They did the worst thing that I'm not even going to discuss. anyways..........

Erm, oh, yes...........

I'm trying to think of things to say but I run out now.

Oh, I'll get back to you lovelies.

NIGHTIES AND PANTIES

xx Nutty Netty