L a s t S u m m e r;

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

I Was Losing Myself To Somebody Else

So...

Heyaz all ^_^

I felt like blogging again. I don't know why. Because I feel like putting up more icons.

I've had a fairly awesome day today, come to think of it, in spite of the rain and the general demeanour of the people in our college ( excluding my friends who consistently remain as hyper and pep... which , btw, I love, and I'm sooo glad I have perky friends. Life would suck without perkiness. If everyone was emo (refer to previous post hahahaha) then that would really really bite. And I mean chomp chomp chomp bite)

So, anyways, yeah....

Oh, I remember now what it was I wanted to write. I got back home today and checked my email. No, goofball, that's not the exciting bit.

Here's the exciting bit.

Josh sent me an email from Victoria, where he's gone, because he's the captain of his hockey team, and his hockey teams gone to Victoria for this finals game and for this prize presentation ceremony. And so I haven't seen him since sunday. Which is ok. it's been like two days. I can live.

He calls me all the time. In fact all the time haha...

And he texts me all the time.

Anyways, his email.

Erm, it was really sweet and really lovey dovey. that's why i'm documenting it.

Josh's Letter

Dear Nethra ( he calls me by my first name for some strange reason, he says its a pretty name, and it should be said more often ),

Just got up. We scored tons of points at the match, tq for asking, it was awesome. Kinda kept looking at the crowd, expecting you to be there screaming that high pitched scream of yours, and going, " Josh, Josh, Josh ", and getting everyone revved up. My mini-cheerleader ;). I miss you. I miss you tons. I kinda think about you every second of the day. It's weird. And it's complicating me.

See, I can't play the game straight anymore. I was supposed to be listening to the coach and he was saying, Josh, you're the skip, you need to do blah blah blah blah oh..I wonder if she's in school right now....Wish I could call her....haha, that text she sent last night was hilarious.....she's got such a pretty smile.... and then i get whacked across the top of my head by David or Gerry, who's that guy I introduced ya to at T's. And I come back to earth, from all my pretty little thoughts of you. God. Help me. I sound so mad. It's so odd, but i feel like i have to tell you all this. Like.. I need you to know. I need to tell someone. Davo and my other mates would probably crack up that I've gone nutso for you. But hey, you're worth getting laughed at, I reckon. What are you upto? Done anything special since i left? Send me pics of you. The ones on my phone aren't enough. I know, I sound obsessive, but if love's a crime, then i'm guilty.

I know I sound absolutely cheesy, and my cheese rating is really high. But come on, give me a break. I love you.I do love you. I realised that this morning when I got up. I had the sweetest dream. It was you and me just sitting at that park we went to, near your house. Just sitting there and kinda being close. and it was like, I just couldn't stop smiling, I could almost smell that perfume you said you wear only when you go out partying, that one that smells a bit like hershey's nuggets. I imagined the feeling of your hand and my hand and them together. I think I've read too many of my mom's romance novels, Ha Ha. I feel like flying back right now, and just pulling you close and kissing you, and doing all sorts of things, that i'd rather you didn't know about. I know how you feel about that. And it's ok. I understand. I'm not going to push you to do anything. I may not even turn out to be the one for you.But you're the one for me. I know that. I know it like I know that tomorrow's a Wednesday, I know it like I know that we won the finals tonight, I know it like I know that when I get back I'm going to tell you in person how much I love you.

I went out with the gang last night after the game, and we went clubbing. Couldn't dance with any chicks, because I just... I can't. It's like, I see another girl, and I'm like...she's nothing compared to my girl. You're my girl. You're.... you're perfection. even though you keep saying you're not. You are. You make my world so much better.

I just pushed the soppy limit. But I'm not afraid of you getting weirded out. I know you're not going to judge me.

What was I talking about? Ha Ha, something about being around you or thinking of you, makes me a bit like you, and how you tend to go off on a complete tangential line of thought. I think it's your absolute freedom of thought and your unrestricted vivaciousness that just.... It Fills Me.

I can't keep writing like this. I need to talk to you, I need to call you, my hands are way too twitchy, it's like, it keeps going to the mobile, and I keep looking at the clock and waiting for it to turn to 8, so that it's finally 5 for you. Stupid timezones. Same bloody country and.... yeah, sorry, I promised not to swear. I'm going to call you now. I love you.

Joshua.

I love how he writes. He's won loadsa prizes for writing and poetry and stuff, so he's a really good writer. And his mom used to write romance novels, but because she had to take care of Josh, she stopped writing, and she went into the MAJORLY RICH family business. Josh is rolling in it because of that.

I miss him too. I miss yaz, Josh, and you're not too soppy.

He called me right after that, and I was like, ahha, no, haven't got home yet. Oh, yeah, yeah, life's usual. And then I hung up and came home and read this.

Right, gotta go.

Some iconisation.

Some songs.

Think Twice - Eve 6
When all is said and done

And dead does he love you

The way that I do

Breathing in lighting

Tonight's for fighting

I feel the hurt so physical

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

Wait till the day you finally see

I've been here waiting patiently

Crossing my fingers and my t's

She cried on my shoulder begging please

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

She spreads her love

She burns me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

What is it you really want

I'm tired of asking

You come wasted

When I showed up and he was there

I tried my best to grin and bear

And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street

And as we speak I'm going down

Cause she spread her love

And burnt me up

I can't let go

I can't get out

I've said enough

Enough by now

I can't let go

I can't get out

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around come around no more

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around I'll let you feel the burn

Think twice before you touch my girl

Come around no more

Download that Song. It's the BEST SONG IN THE WORLD for me at the moment. I'm just addicted to it. It's on constant replay. *dies*

Another song , kinda inspired by my friend May and her situation with her boyfriend. It's complex. but he wants her to change, and she can't:

Everything I'm Not - The Veronicas

Oh no don't go changing

That's what you told me from the start

Thought you were something different

That's when it all just fell apart

Like you're so perfect

And I can't measure up

But I'm not perfect

Just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody

Telling me where I should go at night

Don't worry you'll find somebody

Someone to tell how to live their life

Cause you're so perfect

And no one measures up

Yeah, all by yourself

You're all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything

I'm not

Now wait a minute

Because of you

I never knew all the things that I have

Hey don't ya get it

I'm not going anywhere with you tonight

Cause this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything I'm not

But now I see

I don't wanna pretend so this is the end

Of you and me

Cause the girl that you want

She was tearing us apart

Cause she's everything, everything

I'm not

[-------------------------------------Everything I'm Not -----------------------------------]

And some pics from my mobile phone, now that i've finally got it working ^_^

Labels: Rantification and Randomity

xx signed off at 7:09 PM