Dum Dee Dum... I'm Nutty Net and I often go nuts :P I have way more fun than the average human should, and I'm blessed with a beautiful family and so many lovely opportunities :) And this is where I come to settle all those crazy floating thought butterflies in my head :)
>>>Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.
>>> Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.
>>>See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight. Or is it lust?
>>>Read literature on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from the Old Testament, 1st Corinthians from the New Testament, the story of Ali and Fatima, Echo and Narcissus, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. >>>Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust. >>>Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Notebook," which tells a tale of life-long love and commitment, "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and definitely, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love), also, perhaps, "The Fly" (which is about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a fly and then goes insane, and yet remains deeply emotionally attached through this agonizing life change - which is love) or High Fidelity (which is about learning what love really is). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.
Tips >>>Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree. >>>To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from. >>>Lasting relationships are those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love. >>>Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable. >>>Remember that jealousy is not a result of love. It is more likely to be a result of infatuation, insecurity or fear of being alone. Are you in love with being in relationships? >>>A major life-changing decision like moving in together, getting engaged or getting married should be a natural step if you love someone. It should not inspire fear. >>>Take advantage of the post coital "moment of clarity" to examine your feelings. This is not usually the moment directly after orgasm (where most people are happy with the universe), but 5 or 10 minutes later, when your breathing and heart rate are normal. At this point, does the sex still make you feel closer to that person? Or are you beginning to feel regret and anxiety about what happened? If the latter, then it's most definitely not love but lust. >>>Give it time. Love takes root slowly and grows with time. Infatuation grows into full bloom almost immediately. >>>Keep in mind that "True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be." (Unknown) >>>What comes to mind when you think about this person. If you are not dating the person, think if you are eager to spend time with them or you just want to watch them from a distance. If you are in a relationship with the person, What do you want most out of the relationship. If you just want to consummate love to the person it is usually lust. True love is when you could love a person without ever "dropping your drawers" so to speak.
Warnings >>>If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart? >>>You may also want to consider the fact that it's not always as easy as being one of these three things; often there are a lot of grey areas, the distinctions are blurred, and it is very possible to feel two or even all of these feelings for a person.
........ THAT SAID
People, tell me your thoughts, what do you think makes love love? I want comments, discussions, disagreements, I want spice, flavour, I don't want one person's opinion, I want the opinions of people that matter to me. Tell me on msn or comm here. I don't care.
Just SHARE.
^_^
Now, for my next bit.... Erm, let's see
.... Ah, what have I been getting upto lately?
Well, let's see...
Ah, right... Well, exams finished yesterday. Same for most of you, Physics WAUFP.
OMg
I cannot believe it.
Does anyone realise the gravity of this situation?
And entire 13 or 14 years of education
FINALLY CULMINATED INTO THIS ONE SPLIT MOMENT OF " please put your pens down, the test is finish"
I'm not so sure it's sunk in quite yet.
It's sort of anticlimatic, to be frank.
I mean, I've been anticipating this moment for well over all my life.
The moment that I get to burn my applicable maths notebook, the moment I get to chuck my Physics text into the bin, the second I get to recycle my Human Bio notes.
All that.
It's just.... sort of happened without me noticing exactly what has.
And it's got me thinking , about all the things in life that I've worried about over the years, all the crazy things we worried abotu in school, the little drama, the big drama, all just little grains of sand in the big big beach that is our past.
It's like, the last 13 years have ben nothing.
That's what I'm going through right now. I kind of feel like it was only yesterday I was doing my semester 1 exam. I remember it so sharply. I can't believe what's changed since then. Relationships have been made and broken.
People have been lost and found.
Love has been had and broken.
Exams have been written, marked, checked, rechecked, debated, complained about, received, returned.
Tears have been shed, jokes have been cracked, people have been teased.
We've all been really happy this year, and we've all been really sad.
We've been healed and we've been hurt.
We've gained so much and we've lost so much along the way.
But in the end, we've all come out of it, knowing that tomorrow's going to hopefully be a better day.
I think that's what keeps us going.
That little twinge of hope that tomorrow is going to be better. And even if it doesn't turn out to be that great, there's still the offchance that it'll improve if you give it another chance.
It's the lottery of life in a way, i reckon. It's sort of like, those scratchies that Tim buys, personally.
You buy a 1 dollar one and you scratch it , praying hard that you'll get some money out of it, and if you're lucky oyu might get 10000 or you might just get two bucks or nothing at all. if you get two bucks, you kind of think, oh, hey, that wasn't a COMPLETE waste of energy, and then you go and buy another scratchie with that money, and try again, and then you win a bit more again and then you try again thinkin, ah, this is a trend, the more scratchies i end up buying today i'll eventually win, and then you scratch this little bingo one in your hand and you lose like, 5 bucks . You only paid 5 bucks, but still. Just because you haven't lsot any money overall, it's still a downer having to have no won any money. But, you may win again some day.
So you buy another scratchie, and the cycle restarts.
We all win, we all lose.
But no one loses all the time.
And no one wins all the time.
Keeping that in mind, I shall halt my philosophy lecture to catch up on some snooze time, because Tim is tiring me out.
